simplicity. (day 11-12)

i just went to the ophthalmologist. they numbed my eyes and dilated them. so… i can’t see for anything. wanna know how i’m typing this? i’m in word, typing in 20 point font. yeah.. can’t read or see up close.. or text! it’s so terrible! not a good way to start off my day. but hey… my eyes are fine! and i’m still really nearsighted. i could’ve told them that. but i understand they have to make sure my eyes are ok and normal and all that. this is really going to bother me until this stuff wears off.
yesterday i did not write anything. mainly because i’m lazy and tired. i had an idea for what i wanted to write last night at like eleven thirty, but by then i was just like well it’s late, i’m exhausted. i’ll just write something boss in the morning. SO.. here it is, haha. my awesome thought i decided could wait till morning.
know the old saying, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone? (it might be a song lyric too.. but snap it’s an expression..) i know that applies to me ten fold. just simple things that i never really thought of, that i really miss. i miss that simplicity. what i’ve semi-lost? well.. there’s my privacy. i barely get any. someone, whether it’s my parents, a doctor or a nurse is always in here. i’m very rarely left alone by myself. i am right now, but i can’t type really, or read, or text, so it kinda sucks. i’m left alone for the most part when i have visitors. but it’s just not the same. you’ll never know how nice it is to just have privacy until it is gone.
another thing, freedom? yeah, i don’t have much. i’m always attached to this dumb metal pole unless i’m in the shower. i’m also pretty much confined to this floor, it sucks. if i leave the floor i have to wear a mask. i hate wearing masks, so i’d much rather just stay up here. stupid immune deficiency… someone has to constantly know where i am at all times. it’s for my own good and all thatit annoying.
i miss the simplicity of a normal life more than anything. i miss being able to go as i please, to be independent. i miss being able to go to school and see my friends. i miss just being able to be normal. to have normalcy in my life, which i now have none of. i never really realized how amazing those simple things are until they were taken from me... but wow is
today, i have a day by myself till two or so. then again, it would be nice having someone here cause i can’t read a thing. i needed some time by myself though. i’m just super bored.. it’s a wednesday morning.
i’m going to see if i can get anything accomplished, maybe take a walk, something random.
keep praying for me kids.!
sarah, :)