the question of vanity: a continuation (day 1)

i start the first part of my treatment tonight. the entire thing will take thirty days. after that time period, they will do another bone marrow biopsy to make sure that i am in total and molecular remission. along with the APML, i have a gene translocation that causes my blood to not be able to clot well. that is totally reversable.! so that's good. [:
so, as everyone knows, chemo ( or kemo however its spelled i dont care haha ) makes your hair fall out. Asking most teenage girls, the idea of losing your hair is just about as bad as the cancer. If you didn't know, it does that because it attacks rapidly growing cells, so it kills the hair and the cancer cells. so, right there with that, the question of vanity comes up. do i care more about getting better, or my hair and vanity? can i set that normalsy (dont think that spelled right either) of teenage life aside? It's a hard question to answer. it's one of those terrible, soul searching questions no one wants to have to answer. Wanna know my answer? Yeah, I mean it sucks... but it's whatever! hair grows back. cancer dies. But a persons sense of beauty and pride? that is with you always. You carry that with you, and it's that inner beauty that shines through whatever bad hair day, whatever that might make you feel that you feel like you're not your best. In my case, its this bitch called cancer.!
Honestly, i've never really been too worried about my appearance. And really, my hair now is annoying and needs to get cut. so, i mean, why not just start brand new? That totally works for me. [:
so, the question of vanity? isn't a relevant question. it needs to be asked, but i've answered it and there is none. Looks aren't worth worrying about.
Just got my first dose of oral chemo. Four pills. Here goes nothing! Botoms up. [:
sarah!!